Like most women I wanted it all; the career, the family and a life. Tri-Toy Productions was born out of that desire. I’ve been in the business now for 18 years. After working for various production companies in broadcast for 8 of those years, I ventured out on my own. If you work or have worked in the television or film industry, you know the difficulty of having a family and a career. The hours are long, you travel away form home and working weekends are typical. Many of my colleagues have left the industry to start new careers or to focus on their family or they chose not to have children at all. I love my work and being a mom is my greatest achievement. I wanted it all and that's a tall order.
So after discussing with my spouse (who also works in broadcast) we had to make a plan on how to best handle both and I crossed my fingers it would work. We didn't feel it would be best for our family if we were both working crazy hours and traveling. Trust me when I say, it was one of the most difficult decisions of my (our) life. Starting a new business, having a spouse that worked all the time and being a new mom was time consuming, overwhelming and came with equal parts success and mistakes. Would it work, could we be successful. Can we in fact 'have it all'? I knew that once a child entered our world, the very blessing we were given would also be our biggest challenge; to provide her with a balanced home life and for me to achieve my career goals, all while supporting my spouse's aspirations. A 9-5 doesn't exist in our world. Some days began at 6AM and sometimes end while you're watching the late night news. We've sometimes work weekends and there are no paid vacation days or real time off. When most people are fast asleep, we are making coffee and setting up the next shot, fine tuning an edit, or tweaking a script. It's not the norm but it is more common than one might think. Since starting this venture 10 years ago, it took awhile to find my groove because I was burning the candle at both ends but things finally started paying off. Motherhood and work are now a couple of well oiled machines with days of chaos thrown in for fun.
When I first started Tri-Toy Productions, I brought a whole new meaning to “bring your daughter to work day”. Some called me crazy. We called it peace of mind. She was in my care at all times which helped me focus on the tasks at hand more easily (sounds crazy, right?) and my spouse and I felt better about that. This was now our world and we managed the best we could. My hat is off to all parents who struggle with this decision. It is not easy. The experience has been quite a rewarding, fun-filled, stress inducing roller coaster ride and I was not prepared for the learner curve ahead of me. I remember sitting in meetings when my daughter was a newborn. She was in one arm and I was holding a voice recorder in the other, taking notes. When I worked at the office, she'd be sitting in my lap or near my desk playing, enjoying a snack, or helping mommy work on the computer while I would edit projects, write up schedules, budgets and manage client meetings and conference calls, along with the many other things that come with running a small business and our home. I remember she would take a bath and play and I'd be on the floor with my laptop typing up emails right next to her. I liked living on the edge with a toddler, tub and electronics close to one another....what could possibly go wrong, lol.
Over the years, my spouse and I have learned very quickly that preparation is key and adapting to our growing, very active child meant that I had to become completely mobile and accessible in every aspect of my work. I needed to create a system and a schedule that would work for everyone, while making sure I had every possible technological resource at my fingertips. As she's grown (she's now 10), she's no longer in my lap but now comfortably sitting in her own seat, independently getting her work done, doing things she enjoys and managing her responsibilities. Sometimes her days will run late due to activities and friends and my schedule can be hectic due to client demands, so we've mutually created a system that works for us and our family. Thankfully! I've been known to cheer on my daughter from the sidelines while typing away on my laptop during her soccer practice and I've taken part in conference calls during piano lessons and play dates. Now that she is 10, things are far more manageable.
There are times when I was and still am called away on location for shoots, as is my spouse. We are a team and we both play supporting roles with our family and our careers. We are lucky enough to have a small support system around us for those crazy times and we've had a couple of close calls. It’s tough finding someone whom you trust to look after your child whether they are 2 or 12 and then you cross your fingers hoping they are available to help. People have lives and families of their own. When your days starts with the birds and ends really late, the task can be a tough one to manage. I’ve been known to have caregivers on rotation if necessary in a single day. I remember one time I almost flew my mother to NYC to watch my daughter, because I had exhausted all of my resources. It takes a village!
Parenting and working is complex. My daughter only cares that she has my attention...my clients are the same. They only care that they get what they paid for. My goal is always to exceed that expectation and still have time to tuck my daughter into bed. It's important to remember that none of us should be accessible to our clients 24/7. Setting boundaries is what keeps us sane and at our best for both our clients and our family. A lesson I learned the hard way. The beauty of it all, is that at the end of the day, you are your own boss, making your own schedule, deciding what is best for you and your family. Now along with the good, comes the bad. There are inconsistent hours, the accounting, the overhead, the team you work with, the decisions, and the happiness of your clients. Add in all the day to day responsibilities and you find yourself scheduling the very minute you will take a shower or attend happy hour with friends. That is, if you are lucky enough to get away or be able to cook dinner. All of this rests on you.
In between these everyday moments of beautiful chaos with our work, are the meaningful and most important moments with our daughter, where we teach her, learn from her, spend quality time together and watch her grow into an independent young lady. I do this all while making sure my clients are 100% happy. My life is carefully balanced and I wouldn't want it any other way. I’d love to hear from other parents about how you balance family and work. Share your insights, tips and inspiration. Thanks for listening!
Leave your comments